The truth of the death is a girl who was obsessed and who killed herself rather than deal with her ‘rejection.’ Sophie was her unfortunate matchmaker. Her mother knows this but she’s the worst parts of motherhood: selfish, manipulative, gaslighting and belittling. Her father is no better; he constantly enables her mother’s moods and bad behavior, while making excuses to justify it.
In dire search of clients, Sophie stumbles across the Old Ducks, a group of 7 lonely 70-somethings living at her condo complex. Their leader, a man she nicknames Mr. Porcupine, scoffs at matchmaking as a bunch of swindlers. The rest of the club are hesitantly open to the idea. Sophie agrees to match one of them (Mr. Wolf) for free.
The rest of the Old Ducks are Mr. Regret, who had love but rejected it to please his parents; Mr. Wolf, a quirky cat fanciers with a legion of fans; Mr. Sorrow, a widowed ballroom champion; Mr. Moon, a charismatic man who unfortunately is attracted to married women; and Mr. Dolphin and Mr. Durian, two gay men looking for love in all the wrong places (Mr. Dolphin wants an Adonis and Mr. Durian thinks people should overlook the pungent smell of his favorite fruit).
The best thing about Sophie is her genuine heart towards people. She cares about peoples happiness, rejoices, when they do, feels compassion, and empathy when someone is in pain. It is this heart - rather than seeing the red threads - that makes her a successful matchmaker.
The Old Ducks decide on Mr. Wolf as their beta test and he’s not an easy man to match (on the surface). Mr. Wolf is almost painfully shy and is all about his three cats. He takes them for a walk daily in a pram. He grooms them and shows them often; he is so successful in this, he has a gaggle of fans that he is oblivious to. Sophie decides to attend a cat show to see if it might turn up a potential match. This is where she sees a woman who obviously yearns for Mr. Wolf. She’s not a random woman, however; she’s Mr. Porcupine’s sister.
How she handles this situation shows her skill in matchmaking and in dealing with people. She approaches the woman, Beatrice, at her work and dangles the prospect of match with Mr. Wolf.
Her soft voice gained in volume as she rattled off his accomplishments, effusive in her praise for the person and his feline companions. Beatrice’s transformation made her glow. Her red thread responded with a spark.
Beatrice agrees, even though she’s worried about rejection. She shouldn’t be. Once introduced, Mr. Wolf’s interest is piqued when his picky prized cat eagerly excepts Beatrice’s scratches. The match quickly progresses from there, resulting in them being effusively happy. (Mr. Wolff even wears a fan club badge with her face on it.)
Her next match, Mr. Sorrow, also shows her gift. Mr. Sorrow‘s wife died 27 years ago, and yet he still mourns her. To hear him talk, the dead woman was perfect. Sophie decides that he’s not ready to find love and chooses to help him heal instead. Sophie finds a local support group for widowers and suggests he attend.
“Honestly, I’ve thought about going to one for years.” Mr. Sorrow’s voice trembled.
“But I don’t want to go alone.”
“I’ll go with you. Heck, I’ll drive you.”
“Is this related to matchmaking?”
“Not at all. This is for you and what I believe is best."
Luck is on Sophie’s side. The support group happens at the same time as a ballroom dancing class. Sophie is able to find Mr. Sorrow’s match there, in the form of an elegant widow, who can relate to Mr. Sorrow’s struggles with grief and guilt over finding happiness after the loss of a spouse. While it’s not as quick as Mr. Wolf and Bernice, a strong bond develops between them within a week.
Sophie helps Mr. Moon get past childhood trauma so that he’ll date single women. She helps to best friends acknowledge their feelings for each other. She matches Mr. Regret with two widows in the building. The only one she doesn’t match is Mr. Porcupine; by the end of the book, he no longer thinks she’s a charlatan, he just hasn’t found his match yet.
Watching Sophie make her matches is what kept me reading the book. The anger and frustration I felt towards Sophie when she deals with her parents is what almost made me DNF the book. Her mother is absolutely horrible. She constantly belittles Sophie, actively works to sabotage her, and persistently chips away at soft fees self-esteem. And yet, Sophie puts up with it.
There were times where I wanted to throttle the girl. I mean, her parents live beyond their means. Her mother’s credit card just’s been canceled and her mother berates Sophie for being bad with money. Her parents expect her to loan them money to cover their extravagances (expensive face cream, limited edition Coach bags), even while Sophie is eking by eating Ramen (only twice a week), rice and candy. Her father borrows $3000 to purchase a tennis bracelet for her mother. They borrow another $1,500 to pay for her father’s acupuncture treatments. Her mother expects Sophie to be her father’s taxi to the treatments, because her mother has to attend a book club instead. (Why they couldn’t change the time of the treatments to some thing that didn’t require Sophie to drive him, that I don’t know. But it’s indicative of how everything revolves around her mother’s whims and moods.) Her mother decides to celebrate her birthday at a Michelin star restaurant (with Sophie footing the bill) and then adds insult to injury by inviting ‘friends’ to join them (friends that Sophie will be covering as well). With all of this, Sophie caves so quickly. She gives them money, even at the risk of not paying her rent. Her parents don’t care about her needs and she lets them.
Her relationship with her mother felt all too familiar to my relationship with my father when I was younger. (Fortunately, for me, my father isn’t the self-centered creature that her mother is.) When I established boundaries, he balked, but grew to respect them. Sophie is not that fortunate. I wanted to DNF the book more than once, because I was so frustrated with how she kept rolling over, apologizing, lending them money, when they are obviously not grateful for the help that she is giving them, and at one point, was planning on giving up and moving back in with them.
This is a book that illustrates how setting boundaries is essential for good mental health and how it can be extremely challenging when dealing with an abusive parent. For example: Sophie’s mother, guilt trips her into paying for her fathers acupuncture treatments.
“I’ll send the e-transfer tonight.” I did a mental calculation of how much I had in my savings. “Mom, I don’t know if I can keep this up though. Rent is pricey where I am.”
“You should have considered that when you moved out. Life is never as easy as you see it. The world is a harsh, harsh place.” Not even a thank-you. “Your father and I have worked hard to provide you with everything. The least you can do is help with your father’s treatments.”
“Mom, I am. I already said that I’d send the money you asked for.”
“And what, after that I’m supposed to tell him that he can’t get them anymore?” Dad’s health superseded my rent. It had to. I’d be a terrible daughter otherwise.
Can you see how frustrating the situation is? Her mother just borrowed money and then is lecturing her about being fiscally irresponsible. I’d readily recognized the chest-squeezing dread that you can feel when confronting a horrible choice. I, too, have felt like I didn’t have choices. And like Sophie, this depressing feeling happens because alternative solutions seem impossible. (It’s why it’s so disheartening.) But, just like Sophie, sometimes taking that stand is the only way to overcome that sorrow and fear.
As I mentioned, I almost DNF’d the book. But, I persisted. Sophie finally grows a backbone. She realizes that she’s not alone in the world anymore, that friends can be a substitute for parental approval and love. (It’s found family at its finest.) She finally stands up to her parents, demanding their respect and refusing to acquiesce to placate her mother’s wrath. While that goes as well as you might expect, unlike most of the book Sophie isn’t left discouraged, because her friends are there to support her and encourage her to have an accurate view of herself.
One of the things that I appreciate about the story is that it doesn’t wrap everything up in a nice little bow. Not everyone has a fairytale ending, including Sophie. At the close of the book, Sophie has stood up to her parents, but that rift still exists; they act like she no longer exists. (Although, given that they were sucking Sophie dry to cover their own expenses, I’m not quite sure how they’re going to stick it out.) One of the Old Ducks has a stroke and died, even as he was settling out on a life with a beloved companion. These “unhappy“ events made the story more realistic and no less enjoyable.
It’s the strength of the story that counteracted the absolute frustration I felt at Sophie’s milquetoast behavior, which allowed me to give it a 4/5. If it didn’t have these strengths, I would have scored the book much lower.
The audiobook was enjoyable, although it was sometimes annoying how she voiced the older characters. I’m not sure why people like to equate old age with frailty in speech. I know plenty of 70–80 year olds who don’t sound like they’re going to fall over at the first gust of wind. Not so in this book. But that shortcoming can be overlooked. The narrator did a good job of differentiating the seven gentlemen’s voices so there wasn’t a question of who was saying something.
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