After her best friend, Olivia Bevelstoke's, 11th birthday party, Miranda's father forgets to send someone to collect her (he's busy translating a manuscript from the ancient Greek). Lady Rudland enlists Olivia's older brother, Nigel, to escort her home.
"Nigel is nineteen, and he is very eligible," Olivia said matter-of-factly. "He's a viscount. And he's very handsome. He looks just like me."
Even though she and Miranda have been friends since birth, she's never met older brother Nigel (away at Eton, of course). She's rather in awe when they finally meet:
At the sound of the deep voice, Miranda turned her face to the doorway and almost gasped. There stood quite the most splendid creature she had ever beheld. Olivia had said that Nigel was 19, but Miranda immediately recognized him as the man he already was. His shoulders were marvelously broad, and the rest of him was lean and firm. His hair was darker than Olivia's but still streaked with gold... But the best part about him, Miranda immediately decided, was his eyes, which were bright, bright blue, just like Olivia's. They twinkled just as mischievously, too. Miranda smiled. Her mother always said that one could tell a person by his eyes, and Olivia's brother had very good eyes.
After Nigel, or Turner rather (he hates his first name), pays her a compliment, she falls in love on the spot. She falls deeper when he tells her that even though she's rather thin, and her face is a trifle long, and she skin is pale, he prefers women with brown hair and eyes.
Turner felt absurdly pleased with himself. "Do you know what I think, Miss Miranda Cheever?"
"What?"
"I think you just need to grow into yourself."
...
"Do you know what I think you should do, Miranda?" he said suddenly.
"What?"
"I think you ought to keep a journal."
She blinked in surprise. "Why? Who would want to read it?"
"No one, silly. You keep it for yourself... Because someday you're going to grow into yourself and you will be as beautiful as you already are smart."
She took his advice to heart and started a diary, with her very first entry: Today I fell in love.
Jump forward 9 years.
Turner's burying his wife, who was thrown from a horse and broke her neck.
I'm so sorry, people kept saying. I'm so sorry. We're so sorry.
And all the while, Turner could not help but wonder if God might smite him down, because all he could think was--
I'm not.
...
The priest looked at Turner and actually flinched. Turner wondered what, exactly, he'd seen in his face. Nothing good, that much was clear.
There was a chorus of amens, and then the service was over. Everyone looked at the priest, and then everyone looked at Turner, and then everyone looked at the priest clasping Turner's hands in his own as he said, "She will be missed."
"Not," Turner bit off, "by me."
The kind boy who encouraged a girl's soul is gone and an bitter, acerbic man has taken his place. Betrayed, cuckolded, rejected, Turner has become a disillusioned grouch. Miranda, on the other hand, might not have become an incomparable, but she's grown into a lovely young woman (although not as bright a flower as her best friend, Olivia). Her affection for Turner hasn't lessened.
She still loved him. She always would. He was the man who'd made her believe in herself.
She stays over at Haverbreaks after the funeral and comes across a drunk Turner when she enters the study looking for a place to journal. When she tries to retreat, he tells her to stay. After a little chat, a little brandy, Turner kisses her (he's not really sure what drove him to it). For Miranda, it's a dream come true until it isn't. The Turner she'd known, the Turner she'd adored -- he was gone.
Thus begins the romance of Turner and Miranda.
11 April 1819
Splendid ride with Winston today. He is much like his brother -- if his brother were kind and considerate and still in possession of a sense of humor.
Turner is oblivious to his attraction to her, in the way that romantic heroes are. I mean, he finds the flirting his younger brother, Winston, does nauseating, and his mother practically twisted his arm to get his to come to London for the season, and it's his duty to make sure that Olivia and Miranda make better matches than he made with Leticia. He really does like the girl and her dry sense of humor and lack of polish. Miranda was, he was fairly certain, the only thing that was going to make his time in London bearable. And it's his honor -- as a gentleman -- to help her when she tries to buy a book at a *men's* bookshop.
By the time they travel to Lady Chester's house party, he's kissed her again (again, drink loosens his inhibitions). She studiously reads a book to avoid conversation and Turner keeps watching her instead of finding something else to do. Eventually, their banter turns into an argument and Miranda blurts out that she loves him. Two days later, Turner's still walking around a bit shell-shocked. When they're paired together (almost randomly -- the blind draw matched Turner with his sister, but Olivia persuaded Miranda to swap partners) for the Lady's annual treasure hunt, they've been avoiding each other. Miranda's frightfully good at figuring out clues.
They get stuck in a sudden deluge and are forced to take shelter in a hunting lodge. Being drenched to the bone, they have to used some blankets as clothing. It's too cold to do otherwise. And when Turner realizes that he wanted her with more power, more heat and intensity than he could even comprehend. It went beyond desire. It went beyond need. It wasn't explainable, and it sure as hell wasn't rational, but it was there, and it could not be denied.
...
He hadn't yet uttered the words that would make her heart soar, but just now that didn't seem to matter. His blue eyes blazed so brightly, with such intensity that she thought he must love her a little. And that seemed to be enough.
Enough to make this possible.
Enough to make this right.
Enough to make this perfect.
And we know what happens next.
It's interesting to me that we have several tropes here that match those in Mary Balogh's Silent Melody:
- She's loved him pretty much from their first meeting when she was a pre-teen
- Her love endures despite him marrying someone else
- He was very much in love with his wife when they married
- Not only was his wife pregnant with another man's baby when they married, but she subsequently cuckolded him multiple times and even flaunted her lovers
- His wife's repeated infidelity and rejection leaves him a shell of his former good-natured self
- The cruelty of the wife makes him afraid of love/marriage
- The vicious harpy dies in a tragic accident
- He's drawn to her despite himself
- They end up sleeping together
- Their extended family are supportive and add flavor to the story
And yet, I gave that book 4.5 stars, and this one barely got a 3. I love both authors and am pre-disposed to liking their work. I think what led to Balogh's higher rating is a more complex story and a more authentic evolution and healing on the hero's part before the couple's happily-ever-after:
- There, Emmy refuses to marry Ashley after they sleep together. He has to work to persuade her to marry him. Along the way, he realizes he wants to marry her not to restore his honor, but because he loves her. Here, Turner *has* to marry Miranda because she ends up pregnant. (There's a mutual agreement about the wedding but then Turner skips out, leaving Miranda wondering if it was all lip-service.) Any sense of urgency regarding making her an honest woman only comes after he discovers her condition. (And, although Miranda initially rejects his offer, it takes him only a few days to wear her down, rather than several months, so it's more like she didn't even say 'no.')
- There, Ashley immediately sets about making things right. He speaks with her brother, Victor, the morning after to declare what's happened and he doesn't fight back when Victor sucker punches him and Luke (Ashley's brother) gives him a thrashing. Here, Turner travels off to visit friends without telling Miranda that he's going and he tarries there for a month, never sending Miranda any kind of word or explanation. It's only when he discovers that she's pregnant that he openly admits what's happened to his family.
- There, Ashley gradually works through his issues and returns to the warm, loving, happy man he was before he met his wife. Here, Turner has a lightning-fast epiphany in the 11th hour and does a 180 back to the happy-go-lucky man he was at 19.
- There, while Ashley's an open, aching wound of hurt and guilt, he never loses sight of his love for his family and Emmy. He's painfully aware of the darkness he carries and constantly fights to keep it away from those he cares about. It's the love of his family and Emmy that helps him heal and realize that sharing that darkness isn't going to bring them down. Here, Turner's response to his wife's betrayal and cruelty is much more a victim mentality. He just tries to ignore anything that makes him uncomfortable, or pretend things are innocuous, and he gets angry when Miranda expects more out of him. He just *can't* feel love anymore. Even though he will say everything *but* those 3 little words, he just *can't* love.
- There, Emmy has much more agency in dealing with Ashley's fear and lack of self awareness. She refuses to marry Ashley *because* he feels an obligation, rather than being motivated by love for her. Her love being unreciprocated hurts and she cries, but there's never a feeling of her being a victim to his rejection. Here, Miranda is more passive and gets her heart broken when Turner just can't tell her 'I love you,' leading to the light going out of her eyes and her sleepwalking through the days.
- There, Emmy's life is threatened and I'm nervous. Here, Miranda's life is threatened and I literally thought 'she's not going to die, it's a romance novel.' Miranda's peril felt more like a plot device to help with Turner's epiphany rather than being integral to the plot. Turner's bedside confession left me feeling 'meh' because it was so tropey.
- There, Balogh's story has some pretty crazy twists before it's over. Here, it felt pretty predictable.
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